Imitation is the best form of flattery. And McCarthy seems to be flattering TGF (The Golden Fleecer) by imitating his penchant for lying. He better be careful, though, lest his idol perceive it as a competition to replace him in the Grifter's Book of World Wreckers as the teller of the most lies.
There are a lot of horses in the race, none of whom are likely to win. In the tangled web of Republican deceit, trump still reigns as the Spider in Chief. Sure McCarthy lied five times in a seven-minute interview. Trump would have lied at least 20.
They had to create a special category for Lin Wood. His latest rant about Walmart and Target selling "fetal tissue parts food" is an indication that either he owns stock in their competitors or somebody spiked his koolaid with LSD. I can't help but wonder what would have sparked that hallucination. Some shopper with a baby dropped a jar of artichoke hearts?
The GBWW (Grifters Book of World Wreckers) puts him in the category of GORY.
Now Madison Cawthorn joins many in the GBWW category of CYRA (Cover Your Republican Ass) with his insistence that the Capitol rioters were mostly 'normal people' who were 'kind of wandering in'.
As a former comic, some advice I can give him is to be more committed to his material - "kind of" is kind of mealy mouthed. Which makes them sound kind of uncommitted, which they would argue with vehemently even if it adds years to their sentences. Speaking of which, Cawthorn claims they are political prisoners. To which I would reply, "If they represent your politics ..." never mind, STOP FUCKING GASLIGHTING US!"
And, let's see. Gym Jordan tops the list in the Hummina category.
But back to McCarthy. He's in the news for threatening comm companies with retribution if they comply with a court order to not destroy their phone records. He claims there is some law against it, which there is not. And note - the records aren't being subpoenaed to be turned over. Just not destroyed. His threat actually breaks a law while claiming the request breaks the law. Which is kind of playgroundish, right? I'm a rubber and you're glue?
Why doesn't Kevin just put on a neon orange jumpsuit and climb the Empire State Building with a flag declaring, "Guilty of SOMETHING!"
Meanwhile, we who have inquiring minds want to know: HTF did this happen in America?!
I'll tell you how:
At some point in the late 60s, a giant lizardlike creature laid eggs in a creepy basement somewhere in D.C. where they could be kept warm by the likes of Atwater, Cohn, Gingrich, Falwell, and Rove - waiting to hatch when the Lizard in Chief took office. They were able to take over the bodies of regular people because as infants they looked kind of like cheetos. Actually, a lot like cheetos. The Golden Fleecer (TGF) sent out a homing signal that activated lizard activity in their lizard brains pulling America back in the direction of primordial times.
Yeah, I watch a lot of sci fi.
