MTG is complaining that the J6 insurrectionists are being treated worse than the prisoners in Gitmo. I don't how she went about obtaining a pass to interview the Gitmo prisoners, but I have obtained a transcript of a telephone conversation she had with one of the J6 perps. And I have to say, it's laudable that she keeps in touch instead of disowning them.
MTG: How are you feeling?
J6P: A little cranky. I have to share the TV with a hundred other guys, who will put a shiv in your back if you get up to change the channel.
You don't have a remote??!!
They keep getting stolen so ...
You have to get up to change the channel?!
Yeah, the other cons make me get up to change it for them. This is oppression. They wanna watch Law & Order for legal tips. Meanwhile, I've missed 11 episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
It went off the air in 2017.
I know! But they don't have On Demand here!
I'd be cranky too.
And my ankle itches where the leg irons rubbed it.
They keep you shackled?!
When I'm being transported for my hearings and appeals. If this were a free country I wouldn't have to deal with that shit.
Do the other prisoners get shackled too?
It's pretty shitty in here for all of us.
But you don't deserve it. You were following the commands of the Commander in Chief!
Right!
No wait, you thought you were.
Right! That's what my lawyer says, but --
No buts! Your motive was patriotic.
Yeah, I was pissed.
About the election fraud.
Well, yeah, and masks and background checks and the pedo pizzas and --
THE ELECTION FRAUD!!
Okay okay!
Say it. Say it so you'll remember: ELECTION FRAUD!
Election fraud.
With feeling this time.
ELECTION FRAUD!
Now spell it.
E L E K S H U N F R A W D
Good! Now. how many times have they water boarded you?
You think this is a day at the beach? Besides I wouldn't surf under pain of death. I'm afraid of sharks.
No, I mean torture. Where they hold your head under water.
Why the fuck would they do that?! I'm not Middle Eastern!
They're claiming you're a domestic terrorist.
Hey, hey! My mother does all the cooking and cleaning. I'm not some liberal cuck.
It's not like you're violent.
Right!
Like the BLM thugs.
(long pause) Big Loud Mouths?
Black Lives Matter.
They sure do.
Huh?
But I only tell little white ones.
Never admit that again.
None of it was my fault. That flagpole was handed to me. That cop left his taser where I could grab hold of it. My girlfriend wouldn't make chili dogs on Thanksgiving. That's unAmerican! So it was her fault.
That you went for a tour of the Capitol?
That she ended up in the hospital.
Tell your lawyer to make sure --
Yeah, yeah. Indismissable.
Speaking of chili dogs, how's the food there?
Oh Barfborough! Puke Precinct! Vomit Village! Toss Cookies Town! I made that last one up.
Very creative. So give me some examples. Moldy bread?
How would I know?
Green fuzz?
Oh, I thought that was pickle jelly. That's what my mom always called it.
What else? Instant mashed potatoes?
Yeah!
Unpeeled apples?
Yeah, and it's not like they come with peeling knives. You have to eat the peel!
Okay, I think I have enough here to make my case.
To get me off?!
Why would I do that?
You're on my side, right?
You really don't get it, do you?
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